An Inside Look on Female Negativity
Instead of looking to the world for answers, we need to start looking at ourselves.
In a world filled with so much negativity, it is important we reflect on the ways we interact with one another as women. We’ve all done it, and we’ve all fallen victim to it, but it is imperative we break the cycle of comparison and criticism in today’s society, and replace it with support, encouragement, and upliftment. I invite you to join me in learning more about how something as “small” as gossip can lead to something as big as internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny occurs when people, specifically women, subconsciously adopt and project a negative sexist stereotype, prejudice, or patriarchal belief onto themselves and other women.
I’ll be the first person to admit that I love a good gossip session. The minute something interesting pops up on my social media feed, you know the group chat is hearing about it within minutes. My friend group could probably win the gold medal in beating a dead horse, but we need to start thinking about the impact these actions are having on society. When women engage in negative behavior - whether it’s gossip, hostility, competition, or even bragging - it harms both the target of these actions, as well as society as a whole. Recent studies have found that when women support each other, regardless of the environment, they create a network of strength that enhances their collective success. That being said, tearing each other down is only going to lead to more isolation and insecurity in today’s society, stunting both personal and professional growth.
The Power of Support
Recent studies and research have found that women in leadership roles significantly increase overall organizational performance. A McKinsey & Company study even found that companies with more female leaders are 15% more likely to outperform their peers. This statistic only emphasizes the importance of female collaboration over competition. Rather than viewing our peers as rivals, we must recognize that our successes are dependent on each other.
Another study by the Harvard Business review found that 79% of women believe supporting other women is crucial to their personal success. Yet again, stressing the importance of understanding and empowerment among women as a key factor to achieving our personal and professional goals.
The Consequences of Hostility
If the statistics above haven’t already convinced you that the impact of negative conversation among women can be detrimental, let me provide you with some more information. A study conducted by the Workplace Bullying Institute found that women who face workplace bullying are three times more likely to disengage, impacting their overall productivity and morale. This only creates a larger chain of events, where disengagement leads to a toxic environment, creativity is stifled, and collaboration becomes non-existent.
Uplifting One Another as Women
So, you’re probably now wondering: how can we shift the narrative? Here are a few suggestions:
Celebrate Successes: If you were in this person’s footsteps, would you want to be celebrated? Regardless of how big or small the accomplishment is, celebrate the little things in life. My friends and I have created a tradition of buying the most obnoxious cookie cake anytime we need some celebrating. Whether it’s completing a long week of exams, getting a good grade on a project, or making strides toward something important in our lives, a cookie cake sits waiting to be eaten on your desk. Sometimes something as small as a sweet treat, a compliment, or a comment on an Instagram post can make the biggest difference.
Offer Support: We need to build a community of strong and supportive women. I’ve always been the person my friends come to when they need support - my shoulder quite literally always has someone leaning on it. Studying abroad in Barcelona this past semester has made it difficult to remind my friends I’m always there for them, but I often tell myself that even sending a “Hey, how are you doing” text goes a long way. Showing up for the women in your lives will create the strongest relationships. You don’t need to offer support through some grand gesture, all it takes is a text, a hug, or a smile of support across the room.
Encourage Collaboration: Not everything in life is meant to be a competition. Coming out of one of the most competitive schools in the United States, I constantly find myself surrounded by women who aim to be the best. Many of my courses revolve around group projects and presentations, and I am constantly looking for opportunities to work with strong, creative, and intelligent women who want to help each other. I’ve truly made some of my strongest friendships through group work and collaboration.
Challenge Negative Talk: Be the first one to put an end to the negative comments. On a personal note, I’ve been the one saying the negative comment, and I’ve definitely been the one receiving it. As hard as it is, stand up for the women being talked about in your lives. I find myself putting my phone on Do Not Disturb when the negative conversations begin to take over my life. Put an end to the negativity early on, it’ll make everyone involved feel ten times better.
Conclusion
We all have our own personal struggles, but that only makes empowerment and uplifting conversations all the more worthwhile. To change the narrative, we must commit to uplifting each other. By creating an environment of support in our personal and professional lives, we will not only empower ourselves, but each other. Changing the future starts with making a positive impact on women now.
Join us in changing the female narrative and uplifting women-led stories and production. Support our crowdfunding campaign to amplify diverse voices and ensure that all women are fairly represented. Together, we can create the change and impact we want to see for future generations of women to come. If you want to learn more about internalized misogyny and how to better support women, check out chapter 5, Connect, in Reboot Your Story.
Reece Bennett is currently a junior studying Marketing and Digital and Social Media Business Applications at Indiana University - Kelley School of Business. Originally from Long Island, New York, Reece decided on Indiana University because of its Big 10 school spirit, beautiful campus, and reputation. This past semester, Reece has been studying abroad in Barcelona, working as a social media intern alongside Anne-Cécile Ville at BF Media Lounge. In her free time, Reece loves trying new coffee shops and restaurants with her friends, listening to music, playing tennis, and hanging out at the beach.
