The Personal Wound: The Missing Piece in Women’s Healing
Lately, I’ve been feeling angry and lacking control.
I’ve been having some issues with my bank - trying to get money back from a company that wrongly claimed to be based in Barcelona. After a long, exhausting process, the final answer I received was: ‘Well, nothing to do with us.’ Now I’ve been told to contact a governmental agency, which I can’t yet since we might need to move.
At the same time, I’ve been battling with a French bank following my Dad’s death, questioning some discrepancies. Cue endless back and forths and being dismissed – forcing me to argue in two languages.
On the surface, these things are just bureaucratic annoyances. Usually, I handle them well. But with BF Media Lounge gathering momentum, revenues needing to come in, and my commitment to carve out two hours for myself in the afternoon, I found myself falling short and angry – so angry. And instead of compassion, I also felt shame that I could have handled things better.
Anger, Anger, shame… and then, my stomach began to flare up. Burning GERD. I did what so many of us do: I tried quick fixes. Cutting gluten and dairy. Sleeping propped up so that the reflux wouldn’t make me cough. But nothing worked.
That’s when I realised: the answer wasn’t in remedies and potions, or even in stress management (although it helps). The answer lay in my personal wound.
And I’m not alone. A 2025 study on Childhood Trauma and the symptomatology in women with IBS found that women with IBS had significantly higher rates of childhood trauma. And while the research focused on women with IBS, we see this pattern across the board: women with autoimmune conditions often carry unresolved wounds in their bodies.
The Personal Wound is a trauma that we all carry within us, often rooted in childhood but sometimes born of later life events such as grieving a child. That wound is deep and never fully resolves, but we can learn to manage, heal, and even grow through it.
In the Heal chapter of Reboot Your story, I describe the personal wound and offer practical exercises and personalised AI prompts to help readers explore how it shapes their daily lives.
But the tricky thing about the personal wound is that you could be coasting along for days, weeks, under the mistaken assumption that you’re healed. You might even proudly share how far you’ve come. But then a cluster of triggers hits, and suddenly you’re back in the old cycle: anger, shame, stomach flares, shoulder tension, breakouts. Sometimes it’s like a game of whack-of-mole – heal one symptom, and another pops up.
Deep down, I know the bank clerks are probably incompetent and not out to gaslight or humiliate me. But my body reacts like I’m under threat. No remedy can cure that. The only way forward is to examine what triggered this reaction and trace it back to the wound beneath.
This is the work I’m doing now - caring for the little girl inside who still carries that hurt.
Because right now, she needs my full attention.
A Simple Step For You
Next time you feel triggered, pause and ask: What part of me is hurting right now? Where do I feel it in my body?
This simple check-in can shift you from shame to self-compassion - and it’s the first step towards healing.
To find about more about the personal wound, the tools to navigate it, and learning how to find more joy and confidence in your life:
👉 Reboot Your Story: The Book
👉 Reboot Your Story: The Deep Reboot.
👉 For a joyful reboot in 2026, including The Deep Reboot and a four part Goal setting journey (includes a private Facebook group and live group calls), explore The 2026 Joyful Goals Bundle.
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